Can’t Live With Them, Would’ve Never Been Born Without Them

Hey everyone! It’s been a little bit since I’ve checked in with all 24 of you that are following me. I’ve missed you, it’s been too long, all of that good stuff. I’ve decided to stop by here tonight and muse with you about a holiday that’s coming up and what it means for someone who’s in the now life-long situation i’m in. Mother’s Day. 

In July of 2013, at 5:26 PM, my mother slipped through the surly bonds of earth on her way to somewhere between here and before there. Where it is, I can’t say. I’m not the religious type, never have been, and I don’t see that changing for the rest of my life. I mean sure, I’d hate to be part of the large group of atheists that are left here after the [supposed] rapture. We’d all be kicking ourselves for not being more holy. But there just hasn’t been any concrete evidence to steer me in homeboy Jesus’ direction. Sorry dude. None of that changes the fact however that my mom did pass away from breast cancer and my father, sister, and I were left to hash out how the rest of our lives were going to be. Just the three of us. 

Some quick facts about my mom for those of you who are interested; she was an avid writer and taught me my love of language, she loved music, and she loved beer. She taught elementary school during her ‘later’ years and never stopped being an awesome mamma to my sis and I the entire time. To say that I miss her, would be nothing but an understatement. I was with her during her entire battle, right by her side; my father, sister, and I all troops in her anti-cancer platoon with her oncologist, Dr. Smith (seriously, just Dr. Smith), as our commander in chief. I watched it go from bad to worse, then I watched members of my family gather for a wake a few months later. It happened so quickly…god damn it just happened so damn fast.

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^Missing you momma! Me and her at my high school grad., 2009^

May 11th is an unknown for me right now, I don’t know what my mind will lurch upon me that day. I’ll know when I wake up right how I’ll feel, I did on her birthday which was a few weeks ago and I’m sure the same rules will apply for this day. Who knows. For sure I’ll call my dad and chat with him about her, recall a few good stories of our lives together. Good vacations, good times, just family stuff. I was blessed to have a good [family] one, and still haven’t changed my opinion even though were a member short. I’d even go as far to say that we’ve become stronger as a unit. 

^May be the greatest photo in existence right here, my dad serving my mom up on Mother’s Day last year 2013.^

I urge all of my friends, my guy-friends specifically, to spend as much time with their moms as they can. As a boy, she’s the first girl you fall in love with. I can remember saying to my dad when I was five, “she’s my mom! Go get your own!” or something along those lines, claiming my supposed ownership of her. She guides you through your life. Takes shit from you at your worst moments with nothing but a smile and good advice as a response. She’ll do your laundry, literally and figuratively, and do her best to keep you out of trouble. It sort of seems unfair that we relegate the honoring of our mothers to just one day, doesn’t it? 

In closing; make her feel special that day. Even if you fucking hate your mom, call and tell you hate her just so she knows your thinking of her or something. I don’t know…but don’t just stop at breakfast in bed. This is an all day thing here people! Mother’s DAY, not Mother’s morning and after breakfast and that drab-ass romantic comedy she drags the family to-everyone’s on their way back to their iPhones and meaningless trips to Starbucks with your friends (I sound like I’m 60 right?). Show her you love her, because she won’t stop showing you.

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^The current ‘Rat-Pack’, my dad, sister, and myself in Hawaii in January 2014! Again mom, wish you were there.^

I know this wasn’t the most chipper subject matter but if you liked anything here; spread the love with a like, comment, or follow. Happy Mother’s Day everyone 🙂

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On picking a career (and what the hell that’s all about)…

The title of this bad boy is key to understanding what I’m about to muse on here for a few minutes. I am in no way a seasoned human being, I still have one more year of undergrad left! What I do know, now, is that the constant devil and angel’s on my shoulders urging me into one career path or another may never go away. I’ve had a lot of time to think about how I’ll go around deciding what that “first job”, the one that can ultimately seal your fate for the rest of your life,  is going to be.

I settled on being an attorney about eight years ago when I was around 15 years old. “Your good at arguing, you should be a lawyer” my dad uttered as I back-talked him numerous times throughout my life. Enough of those occurrences later and I had seriously started to think about what a career in law might be like. I’d heard they made a lot of money, had sick ass houses, and didn’t have to put in that much effort for the massive pay-checks they supposedly cashed in on. Boom-settled. I can argue like there’s no tomorrow, or point, and I can handle being under pressure. OK then, let’s do this bitch.

^I was like, “OK, time be just be a lawyer and make bank…”, good joke kid^

Now as I got  into college things started to change. I met new people, had some good times and some bad, went to three different schools(the third I’m still attending), and had the plate of food that is my life became sprinkled and dipped in seasonings, sauces, and opinions across the board. “More lawyers kill themselves every year than other jobs, man” that was a grim one that I’d heard a few times but I negated it since I tend to be a pretty happy guy. “Fuck all of that school…” this one usually came from people who’d either never gone to school or hated it so I took this one with like a straight PILLAR of salt. “Are you really going to be happy doing this?” Wait, what? Finally, a hard hitting question that I couldn’t answer. I shook my mental eight-ball a few times waiting for that blue pyramid to show me the way…”Cannot predict now” was the only one I got. SHIT!!!

I was scared, nervous…doubting myself hard. I had invested a lot of time and energy into this choice and really couldn’t turn back now. What to do what to do? I began to consider easier, quicker career opportunities. Police officer, paralegal (come on now…), teacher, welder. I considered joining a union for a while so I could start making money and soon. I’m a guy; I want to have a family some day, be a good dad, and be able to give my kids more than I had-only problem there is that I had a pretty blessed childhood. Way to set the bar nice and high, parents. I also want to start doing all of this sooner rather than later. Having an established career to me seemed like the first step.

I considered heavily going into acting so I could actually BE all of the things that I have listed up there but that was a bust. I couldn’t tear myself away from a career path with promise for one that was absolutely and positively, a gamble. The thing about happiness kept encroaching upon my career oriented thoughts. I had read tons of articles about the most commonly said things on one’s deathbed. “Being happy” and “not working so much,” were of course on there, and of course…resonated the most with me. My mom had passed away in July of 2013 and I was still an emotional egg shell, ready to crack at any second.

^So true, she looks like she’s trying to seduce anything that moves…^

After a visit to my dentists office a few weeks ago, the gears in my head began to churn with progress. She [my dentist] seemed incredibly happy doing what she was doing. Her office was well lit, well decorated, and I swear to god their was a hint of jasmine floating throughout the air. I watched her face as she worked in my mouth. Her eyes honed in, carefully articulating her wrists to fashion the filling around my tooth in a natural shape. “Technique”, “artistry”, “artisan” they were all words that came to my mind and each carried with it an allure that drew me. She seemed cheerful, energetic, talented (kind of, she fucked up my filling the first time and had to re-do but since she was such a sweetheart-I’m really trying to find reasons in my head for it having been been my fault), but most of all-blessed.

Blessed in the sense that she possessed a skill-set that very VERY few people in this world have. Dentistry, much like medicine as a whole, includes with it the notion of artistry and precision. Creativity and out of the box thinking are required to problem solve, but all done within the context of dentistry and medicine. She was also helping people, a lot. People hate on dentists…go to any non-developed country and then talk shit, that’s all I’ll say…but they do provide a service that most can’t do without. All of a sudden, whilst watching the epic story of Madea’s Witness Protection on Netflix…everything fell into place like the best game of Tetris EVER.

The law is much like being a doctor or a dentist. You take an oath after graduation from law school, the completion of the BAR exam, and a few celebratory nights of partying (because you’ve finished law school, duh!). There’s one great line from the California “Duties of an Attorney” from the Business and Professions code. “Never reject, for any consideration personal to himself or herself, the cause of the defenseless or the oppressed.” It basically states that attorney’s should try to help anyone and everyone whenever they can, because like doctors, they possess skills that can aid in a greater good for a lot of people.

There was a quote I read once that tied with this. I vowed to at least try and be apart of the coming wave of attorneys who would like to change this notion. “I wouldn’t recommend to any young man that he choose the law as his profession. Your skill was once measured on the amount of help you could provide to those who need it, now it’s purely measured in terms of how much you can collect.” I’m sure I butchered that since I don’t have it in front of me but I read [something like] that and SWORE to try and change that mindset. To try and show people and other lawyers, once I have the necessary tools, that we can use this gift we’ve acquired by busting our asses off in school to help people who can’t necessarily help themselves, to aid in a greater good for all people. I wonder if my dentist knows she was the catalyst for all of this, no matter!

It took me a long time to be confident in my choice to become a lawyer, a long LONG time that I feel was essential to understand my I made the choice to begin with. This path I took though isn’t unique, lot’s of people will question the idea the working part of the rest of their lives many times through college. Senior year, I imagine for those who aren’t heading off into a grad program, is filled with the realization that the only thing separating you and the rest of your life is the small podium that you walk across at the end of the year. Your handed your diploma, which symbolically also represents the car-keys to YOUR ignition, to YOUR life and off you go. No more ‘summers off’ no more ‘Spring’ or ‘Winter’ breaks, time keeps moving for you after you leave the guided ladder that is the California college system.

^Hey this guy again, unfortunately he’s kinda got a point-time to be in the top 10% of my class, bitches.^

Happiness is essential to living, it’s what makes us humans-human. Whatever your mind is wandering to and from, don’t be afraid to lance it directly. Let the wound bleed, let the pinata open up-taste the candy of life! If it’s bitter, toss it to the ground for your annoying little brother to eat later. If it’s sweet, savory, and AND pays the bills-munch that shit down my friend! I registered to take my LSAT today, the test determining which college of law i’ll get the honor of attending-wish me luck, internet.

If this article tickled you in that special way; GIVE ME  A SHARE AND A LIKE! I love the support and let’s me know my writing means something! If it offended you, congratulations. Unique to this article however-If I made a glaringly obvious mistake, get in touch!

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We’ll call this the “Opening Credits”

Come one, come all-let’s all get down with stories and observations from me, myself, and I-Chace Hart. I’ve been inspired to write this after following a friend of mine’s from week to week. I thought to myself, “this must be just fucking awesome, to just…talk…to anybody who’s willing to listen.” I tend to never shut up, so this platform was a natural attraction for me to try my best to be funny for other people besides my friends or anybody who happens to be standing in line next to me at Chipotle when they skimp me on that steak (I get pissed, start saying passive aggressive shit under my breath, and usually get a laugh or two from the old lady next to me).

Some things you should know about me; I have weird opinions on stuff and often ask those questions that maybe shouldn’t be asked-remember in Zoolander when Hansel elaborates on how he wondered what tree bark was made of as a kid? I feel him on that one for sure. Feel free to use that as a mold to make assumptions about my personality. I am a 22 year old junior in college at Sonoma State University, a stones throw away from the beautiful city by the bay…Oakland-kidding-I meant San Francisco but who’s counting. I am English major (wassup fellow writers!) and am sorta making my way through the California extended ed. system trying to figure out what the hell exactly I was put on this earth for. Also, and this one’s important, I love LOVE looooove movies, beer, and weed so you can bet your ass its going to be THAT kind of blog.

Anyway, i’m not saying i’m unique by any means-just chill as hell or at least I try to be. I’m going to clue you guys in weekly to the debauchery that seems to be my life. There’s a lot of it, both good and bad, so I’ll have material to go h.a.m. on for a while. Oh, right…I also have a girlfriend-again, nothing but fun times there. So if you decided to get this far through this little opening scene, I’m gonna definitely suggest you take a seat again the next time you see that lil’ link pop up in your feed and I’ll try and make you laugh for a few minutes yea? CHEERS! PROSIT! ACTION!